Making a Postpartum Plan
You may have heard of or made a birth plan - a list of your preferences and a plan for how you would like to feel in your labor and birth-giving experiences. Information on creating a birth plan is abundant and many providers will ask if you have one or encourage you to make one. A birth plan can be an important tool for communicating with your birth team.
I would argue that a postpartum plan is just as important, if not more! A postpartum plan includes how you will manage, what help you will need and how you want others to support you and in the early weeks after giving birth and/or bringing home a baby. Below are a few items I recommend including in your postpartum plan:
Parental leave - When will you leave and return to your paying job? You will likely be asked this question early and often throughout your pregnancy. Some may choose to start leave before the due date, others will wait until the baby comes. Most workers have job-protection for up to 12 weeks of leave, but pay is not guaranteed. It is a good idea to check with your boss or HR to find out what benefits are available to you. Depending on what state you live in, there may be additional benefits available to you through the state. RI and MA, for example, offer paid leave after birth or adoption. Finances are the major driver in this decision for most families.
Visitors - When do you want visitors? And how many can you handle at a time? These questions are very personal, yet an expectation of allowing anyone and everyone to come see the baby is often placed on all families. If you recharge when you are by yourself, ask visitors to hold-off, especially at the hospital or in the first few days at home. When you are ready, you may find that one or two visitors at a time is all you can manage, so you can ask family and friends to split up and spread out their visits. If you recharge with other people, you will likely want visitors around right away. You may also prefer that only a small number of people are visiting at a time. Whatever your preferences, you should not feel obligated to be a “good host.” Allow your visitors to help you by listening to your experience, doing a small chore, or playing with older siblings.
Siblings and pets - Who can help take care of them early postpartum? Maybe you have a plan for who will care for your other children and pets while you are in labor, but have you thought about who can drive kids to school, take the dog for a walk, and wake up with your toddler in the middle of the night? Your physical recovery from a birth may limit you from performing these activities for several weeks. Partners, grandparents, neighbors, or hired help should plan to take over these activities until you are ready to resume them.
Eating - How will you feed your baby and how will you feed yourself? You may have thought about whether you will breastfeed, chestfeed, bottle feed, formula feed, etc. Have you considered looking into a lactation consultant to have on stand-by when you need the support? Your OB and your baby's pediatrician will likely have recommendations, but you don’t have to wait for those appointments to get the support you deserve. Have you considered stocking up on formula? A 28oz can of formula will last about a week. Having a few cans in the house could prevent a midnight run to the grocery store or a frantic last minute hunt for a special formula. Also, how will you feed yourself?! I like to recommend one-handed meals - things like a burrito, granola bars, and bananas. A sit-down dinner might be a few weeks away still, but try to eat balanced and often to aid your recovery. Another recommendation is making freezer meals ahead of time. Ask your friends to join you for an afternoon and prep some Pinterest-worthy freezer meals that you can pop in the oven or crockpot during the early days at home. Takethemameal.com allows you to set up a meal-train schedule with friends and family so that they can bring you food or send a fully-prepped meal. Send your link to everyone near and far!
Sleep - Where will baby sleep and how do you plan to get your needed sleep? The AAP recommends that baby sleeps on a separate, flat surface in the same room as the parents. This often looks like baby sleeping in a crib, bassinet, or pack and play by the parents’ bedside. (I will do a separate post on bed-sharing soon!) Although there is so much to be said about infant sleep, those first few weeks are pure survival! You are unlikely to have the time or mental capacity to work on sleep training, so its best to focus on how you can get your sleep as well during this survival period. Newborns will need to eat every 1.5-3 hours, including overnight. Some parents will trade-off feedings throughout the night or every other night so the other parent can get a longer stretch of sleep. For the nursing parent, this trade-off won’t work in the first few weeks until supply is well-established and the parent can pump milk. Partners can still support a nursing parent in the middle of the night by getting the baby from the crib and bringing the baby to nurse, then taking the baby back to burp and change the diaper. I highly recommend an EARLY bedtime! If you used to get 8 hours of sleep from 12am-8am, think about getting 8 hours by sleeping from 8pm-10pm, 11pm-1pm, 1:30-3:30am, and 4am-6am. It will not feel as restful as your previous 8 hours, but its ok to take things slower the next day and take naps if you are able. Grandparents, neighbors, friends, or a postpartum doula are also great options for covering nights when there is only one parent or when both parents need help sleeping.
Mental health - How will you care for yourself and who will you ask for help? I ask these questions broadly because I don’t just mean in the case of a mental health crisis. You are deserving of love, care, and rest (always, and) during your postpartum period. Will you show yourself love by writing in your journal, will you ask for care from your partner when you are hungry and need a glass of water, will you allow yourself to skip the dishes tonight and go to bed early? Think of a friend or family member that you really trust and can text, call or have visit when you are feeling so very sad. MomLife After Dark is a free resource to connect you with other moms with babies around the same age as yours so you can text at night, plan a stroller walk or just chat about the crazy ride that is motherhood. And if you are struggling beyond what you feel is normal, it helps to know where you can go - again, your OB or baby’s pediatrician can recommend a therapist or your health insurance can direct you to in-network providers. There is so much support, but it can be hard to find when you are not feeling your best.
The first few weeks after giving birth and/or bringing home a baby are defined by survival - you aren’t doing it wrong, its just REALLY HARD! But you don’t have to go into it blind. A simple plan can set you up for success in those early days and pave the way for healing and bonding. And finally, remember, this is just an outline, we always leave room for changes!
